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Thursday, February 21, 2008 / 11:10 AM
whatever I am starting to get irritated. I feel an immense need to write about something, but right now nothing seems to come through. Sitting at my desk, i ponder what am i going to do when i go for lessons later. It is starting to drain me out as i try to struggle to eep my head above waters. I find that it is pretty hard to get adjusted to the working world, although i am not really considered a working adult just yet. Many things require my attention. Everyone needs help. Nobody understands, yet they all pretend to look really concerned but in fact they just cannot wait for you to get as far away from them as possible. Office politics you say? No. In my view, i think it is more like a form of "survival of the fittest" and "natural selection". Office politics is an understatement. While residing in this concrete jungle, i have learnt more about life than being in a pretty glasshouse with everything prepared for me. I am not a lovely and pretty potted plant, always waiting for people to help me out and am always so weak and vulnerable. I have a strong character, sometimes being so blunt that i offend people right away. I cannot pretend to be a sweet and adorable girl, using an embroided silk handkerchief and always carrying some frilly umbrella. I am not one who lowers down herself to try to make others happy. I may do that initially, but my conscience will always get the better of me. I try to stay logical, but that makes me stick out like a sore thumb at times. I think reality, practicality and efficiency, but there are others out there who dream of unicorns and candy-coated clouds. We cannot click. I cannot bear to coo over the latest trends with some because we are simply not of the same frequency. I am a person of extremes. I can be super romantic and giggly, but i can also turn into one mean bitch. I hate to play by the rules but adore playing by the ear. I like spontaneity, impromptu, excitement, novelty. It is no fun just sticking to the script that was prepared way beforehand and then being all that was expected. Why do we have to be products from a cookie-cutter? There is no need to be prim and proper all the time. Sometimes, it is all right to have a little fun and to break a little rules. People need to have COMMON SENSE, something that many people lack and seems to have a serious defiency of. Learn to look at other people's body language and facial expressions. Don't always assume that whatever you are saying or doing is nice. Be more tactful. I am trying really hard to do that, even though i may be too straightforward from time to time. It is extremely disgusting when you are doing your own thing but so affecting others negatively. Shut up and fuck off. Some individuals just need some attention, but stop trying to get unwanted attention. Understand the deep need that some people have to try to get people to like them, but too much of a good thing becomes really bad. Stop trying to suck up, or praising others just to get into their good books. More of this excessive showyness and you become one very much loathed person. I guess that there is nothing that can truly satisfy one in this world. There will always be imperfections and complaints. A flaw somewhere. Why can't i just look beyond these flaws and choose to focus on the positives? It is tough, especially as you get older. Even now, i am slowly losing faith. Really tired. Sick of being so superficial to myself and not addressing my problems properly. Feel my eye-lids drooping. Tired about beating around the bush. Till then. |
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