Wednesday, May 18, 2005 / 11:20 AM

shucks man.i am so dead and finished.i am gonna be the last few in physics,chemistry,english,e math-practically everything is a flop!and today's oral looks bad.the examiner looked inimpressed.argh!!!there goes.i just hope i wun feel too crushed after getting back my papers.

celebrated my birthday ytd at bugis with the peeps.lols~all six of us wearing 3 diff colours--me and yumei green,zel and shar black and samo and weewee white.LOLS...and we were all wearing jeans!ate and laughed away at seoul garden.yippee!then took so many neo prints.lols...we looked really fab!

a very big happy birthday to all the peeps out there who share the same birthday as me on 18th may.

good luck to myself too.

Sunday, May 01, 2005 / 8:39 PM
wish upon a star

hey there...just finished a book by Olivia Goldsmith entitled "Wish Upon A Star".the character,Claire Bilsop, goes through a series of unfortunate events,before Lady Luck decides to give her some notice.She had a wonderful adventure in London,having dumped the Mr Wonderful of her life,the so called "rich,suave and sexy lawyer" Michael Wainwright.You may think this is one of the many crap stories of romance and stupidity but you are so WRONG!Well...i am so proud of Claire because not only did she got over that bastard who toyed with her feelings,she started a successful knitting business,made special and sincere FRIENDS (all right...maybe i am just envious that she managed to have such amazing friends yet i dun seem to have...i wonder why have we becomed so estranged??) and a great experience in London.Gosh...i can feeel the air of freedom and bubbliness around her.And the best thing is that she managed to LOSE WEIGHT!!!My my...she dropped from a size fourteen to a size ten!All right...she is making me so green with envy.Being an American girl,Claire realised her nationality had its ups and downs,although everything turned out pleasant enough.
At the end of the thick novel,Goldsmith left the whole story to an open ending.She made a self-depracting comment abt how all novels are just different versions of the same old cliched fairy tales that brainwashes kids to think that the lady and the guy will live happily ever after.It is all up to how we choose to see things the way they are.If we believe alls well ends well,then so be it.If we believe that good will triumph over the evil,then maybe you are right.The sad thing is that Goldsmith died shortly after completing this book.This is indeed one truly interesting book that seduced me to spend my entire afternoon perusing it with great delight.
Wonderful friends,great career,nice apartment,marvellous boyfriend,a great inheritance...Do all these things cause your heart to skip a beat,thinking you could have them all?I beg to differ.What is the use in being in control of situations,only t orealise that you have lost control of yourself?That you lose the sanity to contemplate about your diminishing and so called "friendships"?That you lose the willpower to fight back the claws of darkness?That you wish everything could just stop and freeze in time?Well...It seems that human desires are never ending,and that people are ever changing.One minute this really friendly and pleasant girl may be chatting happily with you and the next minute while your BACK is turned,she STABS you repeatedly with a butcher knife and tears you apart.Good...i can see that you are trying to imagine that gory scene.I have it pictured in my head everytime i believe this girl will become my best friend,then she walks outta my life.Ironic eh?So what?,you may ask.Well,i have no idea.
What is the most important thing to you?Is it money,health,lust,recognition or peace?Well, i am sure the list goes on but unfortunately i am afraid i dun have the patience to list all the mundane enjoyments of human beings.Not that i am not one,but i certainly do not feel the same way as many of you all do.Sometimes i look at a Picasso painting or a "masterpiece",they say,by Da Vinci,and i ponder,"What the hell is the big deal???".What is so special about things that they are being categorized and sometimes,immortalised?Why do we sometimes have to put others on a pedestal and kneel in front of them,as if we are offerings?Why are the Whites named Superman while the hardworking Blacks are being insulted with the label the Gorillas?Who in the world can give answers to these questions?Who set norms when we talk about creativity?Who the hell restricts when it wants us to think outta the box and SPEAK UP?And even if you can find the mastermind behind all these "rules and CORRECT things",he or she may already be six feet under.Vicious cycle of never ending hatred,angst,sorrow and pride.Humans...when do you stop revolving?

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All the love in the world, dear John