Friday, August 29, 2008 / 9:33 PM
i passed TP test!

I passed my driving test today!

It was really a very stressful day, with Geography tutorial in the morning. Had to try to be as participative as possible, racking my brains for creative slogans and stuff. Enjoyed the Merlion biscuits too. Then afterwhich i went to the Deck with Michelle and met up with Meera and gang. Had lunch but all the while i was really damn nervous. The butterflies in my stomach were zooming around and it felt so terrible... Everyone was comforting me and all, but i just couldn't fully calm myself down.

Then hailed a cab and proceeded to Bukit Batok Driving Centre and i was early. My warm-up was not till 1.40pm but i reached at about 1.20pm. Looked around and realised that the others who are in the same slot as me reached way earlier than me, therefore demonstrating that i am not the only one on tenterhooks. So i went to print my slip and all and then went to the waiting area to wait for my warm-up session. Was trying to focus on the underwater video provided but really it kept repeating the same scenes so i got sianed. Then the warm-up instructor came and we went for the session. Everything was pretty good and i was really in tune, until when i came back and my car stalled on the slope. OH MAN! I was a little depressed cos everything was so good and my car stalled! Argh.

But well i went back to the centre and met up with Mich and Sam and then sent my info for balloting. Chatted with them for 15 mins, went to the toilet and then trudged upstairs to the balloting room. And i got test route 3, a route that i am so NOT familiar with. I was pretty scared and doubtful, cos i hardly go on this test route (the hot favourites are 6 and 8) and i was a bit hesitant. Then went to sit down and wait for my tester to come.

I was the FIRST one to be called out for test! Oh man, it was this tester with surname Koh. So i followed him and then he told me to go start the car. Haha, i RAN to my car. Then started my car and moved off!

This tester can be a meanie. He was quite impatient and fierce. I was doing my parallel parking and vertical parking and he didn't even allow me to pull handbrake and go neutral gear- he told me to move off once the car was in the lot and straight. So i continued everything and then went on the road.

It was the Teck Whye area, and the traffic wasn't so bad today. Quite smooth. Then had a little episode near the temple area, and this tester SHOUTED at me man. He was like "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? WHO GOT THE RIGHT OF WAY? WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

Wad the fuck.

Feeling my face go red, I told him politely that i felt that it wasn't safe because this HUGE lorry laden with stuff was trying to turn right while i was trying to turn in. He most certainly looked like he was revving to go so i decided to not take chances. But this tester continued to bellow at me like i did something terribly wrong. Whoa at that moment i was like "Shit man... Fail already fail already." To make things worse, he started to scribble furiously at my test sheet. At that moment, my heart sank but i told myself to just keep driving and jiayou.

After that i went back to the centre and it was drizzling a little. So out of courtesy i offered to straighten my car and park nearer to the shade but this tester said "NO NEED!" very loudly. Ok...If that is what you want. Then said the four magical words:

"Okay, you passed already."

JUBILANCE MAN! I was jumping for joy outside the car and was SUPER happy that i cleared my TP Driving test! Whoo! Then went for the video presentation, applied for license and settled down. Managed to talk to Zulk and Akbar a little. Haha!

Went for dinner with my family and just rattled on about today. Now i am still having a throbbing headache because of all the stress accumulated from today. I can finally breathe easy!

Honestly, i didn't know driving lessons can be that much drama and fun. My instructors change all the time, and i must say i have had over 20 instructors already. Some were bitches, some were weird, some cannot speak English properly, some treated me like their friend, some talk to me like i am their family, some refuse to talk to me except to provide directions and some are my friends now.

Suddenly i feel so melancholic, and as i left BBDC, i felt a wave of emotions wash over me. 6 months of frequent visits! Now all the hard work and sweat and money has paid off.

Really a big hand to all the instructors who have helped me achieve this and thank you all. Thanks to Michelle who accompanied me all the way from school and to Sam who came too.

Yay :D

Thursday, August 28, 2008 / 1:31 AM

I think i worry too much all the time. I get stressed up easily and i think A LOT. Like recent events have affected me in some way.

School is the number one thing. I keep thinking if i had made a right choice to come to NUS instead of going for NTU Mass Communications. Studying CS seems to have a better future as compared to what i am doing now. At least CS is more structured and preps me more. SIGH.

I don't even know if i want to continue majoring in Sociology. The exposure module is pretty drab and i cannot seem to understand the lecturer. Everything seems so archaic! And the thing is i am not so sure of my future with a degree in sociology...

Man, i just feel terrible deep down. I keep wondering if i had made the right choice at all. Should i switch courses? How to trudge on?

Sigh. This is why i feel so old.

Sunday, August 24, 2008 / 11:35 PM
end of 2nd week

Its been a really hectic week, with school, driving lessons, external commitments, mandatory events and well miscellaneous stuff. Quite exhausted, and just thought i would fill in an entry.

Went to collect my Nike Human Race race pack, and waited a whopping 2 hours for it. Met some idiotic people who really don't deserve my attention, even if they are supposedly "famous". After that went to Manhattan Fish Market for some dinner, and ended up feeling very sick at the oiliness and starchiness. Walked around central but realised that most of the shops were closed or closing at only 9pm! Guess the human traffic is pretty pathetic, and it has gotta be a challenge to sustain business.

Well its the end of the first 2 weeks of school, and the end of my 3 day week. From tmr onwards all tutorials will commence, and it will be hectic again. Really gotta stop procrastinating and just get down to work. Hopefully my tutorial class will be all right and i'll meet some nice and cool ppl. It's a big pond around here.

And i gotta send my fujitsu for some serious repair work to be done. Dunno wad the heck is happening to it; its becoming really sloooooooooooowwwwwww and seems to be retarded in many ways. ARGH. So new and like that already!

Better go concuss now. Gotta go school early tmr!

Friday, August 15, 2008 / 1:21 AM

Currently, I am trying to work out my timetable.

It sucks because well, i don't seem to share much tutorial slots with anyone else. Not that it should be a major concern to anyone else, but i really think its a big deal. Imagine walking into the tutorial class and everyone is in their own cliques already?! Do you know how terrible that may be? Its gonna be deja vu all over again.

I keep trying to synchronise timetables with my peers, but it seems like its a one-sided affair. I'm always asking and probing, trying to get into the same tutorial slot as them. But is there really a need to? Most people would tell me to just register for the tutorial slots that i want and heck care about the rest. Your timetable should work for you. And yet i keep thinking that it would be nice if i were to be in the same tutorial as my acquaintances, so at least it doesnt feel that daunting and work could actually be easier.

But then it aint always that easy to begin with. Having to know new people from every class may be exciting, but it can be tiring too. How many times would i have to introduce myself and also take an effort to remember names and characteristics? Usually i'm open to meeting new people, but when it comes to work i get a little apprehensive. When you need to work in groups, it is always essential to have the right attitudes and personalities. I will definitely give my best in the group, cos i am responsible for my tasks and will also think for the rest of the group. But not everyone thinks in the same way.

That is why i am troubled AGAIN. Quite irritated over this and well, as far as i could tell myself to just choose the tutorial slots that i want, i still cannot help but want to go for some tutorial slots with friends. And the meaning of friends gets blurred sometimes, because not everyone sticks around for you. Some choose to stay and wait for you to catch up, some run along while you make an effort to jog, while some choose to desert you when you feel like making an effort.


At the rate that i WORRY, i'll soon be 40.

Gonna get some sleep and think about it tomorrow.

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Monday, August 11, 2008 / 1:48 AM
NDP 08-success!

Happy birthday to Thar Er and Jodee! Their birthday was celebrated with millions of Singaporeans cos it was National Day!

Whoa finally NDP is over. But i don't feel as high as the rest, and it felt like it was just IT. No exuberance or extreme happiness, although i felt glad and well, happy. Really enjoyed the whole process and the trainings, and saw how people function in groups (again). It was especially memorable because i made some new friends with similar frequency and interests and thoughts. The others were simply an additional bonus. Everyone else is just as important.

And then i really wonder why do people behave in a certain way in groups. There is some sort of a link between human and animal behaviour. We all have the same mentality- fight or flight. We all feel the need to BELONG and be PART of and none of us likes to be excluded or worst, boycotted. I guess its a common mentality.

Today's gathering was more than it seems. I never felt so attached to my sec sch friends until today, when we really talk about things that we don't used to talk about, and really share our thoughts. Listening to things that surprise, saying things that are out of the norm topics. More heart-felt than ever. I guess conversations change as we mature, and we choose to talk about more important things then to mull over the little ones.

I guess today somehow made me felt blessed. The kind of friendship i felt today sent warmth throughout my body. Sounds corny eh? Haha. Looking at my sec sch friends- Weishun, JingXiang, Kok Hien and Diana-, it really made me feel so blessed and fortunate to have gotten to know them. Things would have been so different if we all hadn't met, and i wouldn't be who i was today if not for them. Ok i am feeling warm and fuzzy all over! HAH!

And i want to praise Diana here in my blog! She really is very sweet and adorable, and i am so glad to have a friend like her. It puts a smile to my face whenever i see her because she is always so hilarious and well, slapstick-funny! Love ya!

as we go on

we remember

all the times we had together

and as our lives change

come whatever

we'll still be

friends for ever.

yeah man :D

Friday, August 08, 2008 / 2:38 AM
o week 08

Its the 2008 Beijing Olympics today and well am i glad to have spent some quality time with nice people eating and munching and talking at the cheese prata shop!

O Week has finally came to an end, but well i don't know if i should feel happy or sad. Perhaps sad that the whole OG will be split up because not everyone takes the same modules and all. Feeling happy that i have chosen to come to O Week and had gotten to know many more people and made some wonderful friendships. The feeling that i get from Arts Camp and O Week is a little different, and there are less burdens and emotional upheavals in one way or another. A spectacular display of people from all walks of life, all gathered at O Week. Simply amazing and mind-blowing. Exaggerating it a little, but i really enjoyed O Week ALOT.

I was late for the first day cos i had driving lessons in the morning, and i turned up and found my new OG pretty pleasing. Everyone seem comfortable with each other and the whole chemistry was fantastic. Of course, there were still pockets of awkwardness and hesitancy, but overall it felt goooooooooood.

The 2nd day was also ok, although i was MIA for the PSI day cos of NDP Preview as i had to be at TBSC by 2pm. Was looking through the photos the OG took and they had loads of fun. Then came monday, tuesday... O school day was also fun! Eating watermelons and all.. And then there was the captain's ball game where we played so hard and cheered so hard. It was really fun.

The beach games on wednesday was the best! Really saw how the guys went all out to do their part and the girls gave their all, some taking off their shirts to squeeze the most water into a bottle and such. Felt really bad that i didn't take part in most of the activities but merely carried water and belongings... Couldnt get wet cos i had NDP rehearsal in the evening! But well it was certainly exciting watching the rest play.

Went to school late today cos i was told to come later. Had wanted to join the rest of the OG at west coast park for war games but there was a whole lot of confusion and miscommunication, so we reached school at about 5 plus. Then headed for the deck and had a scrumptious dinner with lots of chicken wings cos it was a free buffet for all o week-ers. Played the chitty chitty bang bang game and also polar bear. Whoa i must really say that the polar bear game took a looooooooooong time to complete cos we didn't really know who are the polar bears and hunters. LOL! I was totally out of the game cos i was busy eating and well, could hear mumblings of their conversations. But it went well!

After that we all headed back to LT8 for our finale night and Absolut mambo-ed away! Councillors had to wear these durian gloves on one hand and mambo. Haha... I don't know the moves so just tried to keep up! Then the rest of the houses put up skits and performances, and it was superb!

We then watched videos and photo collages of O Week thus far, and all the house ics gave really sentimental speeches and all, before we proceeded to the deck as an OG to celebrate birthdays of our OG mates. Cute! We took lots of pictures and all, then the whole bunch of us headed off.

On hindsight, O Week tested my patience and interpersonal skills very much. And i am glad to have attended O Week! Really a big hug to all those people in my OG and i really thank you all for being part of such a wonderful memory.

YEAH MAN! (ark ark sia!)

Tuesday, August 05, 2008 / 10:39 PM

T I R I N G.
Kind of an understatement in itself.

Monday, August 04, 2008 / 11:13 PM

Superficiality is the new black, the 2.55 Chanel of our era.
You wonder when will all these cease, but it doesn't, my friend.
You try to run and hide, cover yourself in thick blankets and flannel.
What is the use?
Stay gold, they like to say.
Talk is dirt cheap, typing even cheaper.
And then you ask yourself if you have came into this world for all these.

So i prayed and lamented.
Wished that i could have my way all the time.
Or if i could have the power to make it right.
Being plastic suffocates.

Trudge on with all my might.
Try to deserve what i should deserve.
Not a slave, not a maid.

We are all from our parents.
We have people who dote on us and really care.
All of us need to be loved and cared about.
So what gives you the right to trample like that?

So tired and sleepy right now.
I shall leave all these to tomorrow.

Saturday, August 02, 2008 / 12:24 AM

Today was the last day of bidding and frankly speaking, it went past in a flurry of excitement, cheers and absent-mindedness. I was freaked out, cos well we didn't have much time to do any bidding or what so ever the whole day, and i managed to capture snippets of moments to go online and check out CORS. One freaking expensive module i got was Southeast Asia studies, at a whopping 200 points. DAMN. Should have opted for jap studies if i knew it was going to be like this!

Right now i am sneezing non-stop. Very tired and zonked out and there is still driving tmr! Twice per week... Bah and its the first slot of the day. And then there is NDP Preview in the afternoon that will stretch all the way to the evening and i'll probably get home by around midnight? Plus the perspiration and exhaustion that hopefully, melts away with some nice sleep.

Gonna start on my tuition kid this sunday. Hopefully i can do a good job in teaching him ENGLISH. Honestly, i am a little worried that i may not be able to teach english well. It seems like a pretty difficult subject to teach and i have NO syllabus to follow! Teaching Geography was relatively easier, because all you have to do is to make sure the students understand the content and explain and TA DA! JOB DONE. For English i really am not that sure. And after tuition i gotta run straight down to Sentosa for NUSSD orientation activities. Shucks man!

Freshmen ceremony is this coming monday, and i wonder if we have to dress up properly for it? Hmm.

OKAY it has been a really tiring day filled with cheers, songs, hump-ings and many other mixed feelings. Take it all man!

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All the love in the world, dear John