Friday, October 30, 2009 / 12:35 AM
essay woe

Just had a bowl of those kind of instant miso soup. Simply pour hot water over the condiments and voila you get a bowl of piping hot miso soup! Of course i would love to have chicken soup or something but it is really late and i am lazy to cook stuff now.

I am still thinking through my essay for popular culture, a little anxious and worried that my paper is not on par with the rest. I mean, hearing what some others are writing about just makes me cringe. Seriously, these people really spoil the market. What am i supposed to do huh huh huh!

Gahhhhh. Explore the social dynamics of popular culture in a public space in Singapore. Hawker center!!! GAHHHHH.

I shall not sleep until i get a decent 2000 words typed out. GO SHULI!

Wednesday, October 28, 2009 / 1:36 AM

All these are just FANTASTIC! Royce Chocolate Potato Chips and Bakerzin's Raspberry Panna Cotta, all in a day's work!

Maybe i should have a desserts themed 21st :) Some people have got me thinking about what i want for my 21st party. I don't think it will be in a grand and magical way that i envisioned it to be, but at least i hope to have a garden party with cupcakes, floral tea and butterflies. Haha.

No i am Summer. No, I am Tom. No.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009 / 1:53 AM


小男人的活泼,开朗, 直爽, 脾气, 天真烂漫,
老男人的成熟, 稳重, 知识, 风范, 委婉, 踏实。

似乎在寻找一个完美情人, 他也有可能不存在, 或还在世界上的某个角落。

现状也不太可能会遇到他, 因为我的焦点被模糊了。 有时还真不知道自己要的是什么, 不知如何应对。 想找到一个平衡点, 好难。

茫茫人海之中, 我相信我们错过了。 也许当时的你, 是牵着她的手。而当时的我, 正目不转睛的在传简讯。那小小的擦撞让我们不以为意, 继续向前走。可能如果我们停下脚步, 抬头望一望, 事情可能会不一样。

大家就好像星星一样, 在宇宙里, 各有各的位子。

有时还真讨厌完美的结局, 因为现实中并不是这个样子的。灰姑娘之所以会找到她 的王子,是为了让全世界的小女孩对爱情抱有渴望和幻想应而促进销售。电影是个能让幻想和梦境实现的画板,任由人们塑造一些自己想看的。

当然, 时时抱有一点贪娈, 也不错。

幻想后, 也该是让灰姑娘返回现实的残酷和快乐中了。

Monday, October 26, 2009 / 12:47 AM
piece of the blue sky

we are all like a piece of the blue sky
floating around, waiting to inhibit a body
and when we come to this world we seek our purpose
to live this life to its fullest

really enjoyed My Sister's Keeper :)

Sunday, October 25, 2009 / 1:59 AM

I have done so much things today, just not doing my essays!GAHHH.

Went shopping, washed my car, brought in the clothes and finally cleaned up my room and of course, packed some stuff away for Canada. I realised i have quite a bit of woollen clothes :)

Somehow the Essay Goddess is escaping from me. Or maybe i am just plain lazy. Haha. Online shopping is evil too. Now i am awaiting the arrival of 3 sprees. GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME.

And there was the $1/litre fuel promotion at all Shell stations in Singapore today. I was all geared up for it and went to the petrol station near NUS but they didn't have the promotion! Oh well i was lazy and decided not to head for the Shell along Pasir Panjang Road. IT WAS A MAD QUEUE for the cheaper priced petrol. TSK TSK. LONG QUEUE i tell you. Luckily i didn't waste my saturday queuing.


Thursday, October 22, 2009 / 1:11 AM



Exams are coming, papers are due! And i have no divine intervention to give me some good inspiration. And some mental resilience too.

I want FOOD. Like pasta with loads of garlic tossed in olive oil and seafood, especially prawns and bacon. I need some comfort food nowwwww.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009 / 1:12 AM
rain rain rain

Gosh it is raining really heavily outside. And everyone is in bed already. Just me working away at my laptop with my table light as i look outside my window and the sky is just dark. You cannot even see the rain fall. Everything is engulfed by the sound of raindrops crashing against the windows and landing on the concrete floor. Then there is this violent sound of the wind coming in through the toilet window and threatening to invade the space.

Oh, the rain is getting lighter. Not the wind though. Scary!

Today has not been the most productive again. I was super super tired yesterday, and i wondered what got over me! I was extremely sleepy and tired after the BK lunch, and this exhaustion followed me all the way till after i showered, and i promptly plonked myself on the bed after that, with my hair wet and just fell into a deep sleep. And only woke up at like 11am this morning. WHAT WAS THAT!

Today was just a mad rush and all, but now the rain has subsided into random splatters on the floor. The toilet door slammed shut just now, and although i kind of predicted it i still got a small scare. HAHA.

I laughed at everything today, from seeing people's faces to random small things. Wonder what got me into such a jovial mood too.

je ne sais pas si je devrais partir devant,
je ne sais pas comment je devrais me sentir.

d'une manière ou d'une autre je ne sais pas même si je suis prêt pour cela,
mais vous mettez étincelle dans mes yeux et rire dans ma vie quelquefois

je me protège, j'ai besoin de l'assurance,
mais pouvez-vous me donner que je veux et ai besoin ?

j'ai besoin de quelque chose, quelque chose ce qui me ferait dire oui
mais je ne sais plus.

Whoa, the rain is back again. Great for sleeping tonight! :)

Wednesday, October 14, 2009 / 10:43 PM

Happy pastries light up my day. Awesome possum!

Really feel like buying the red cake and cupcakes from that website. Gosh i think they will taste really good. And maybe make it as the official cake house for my 21st. I am already having thoughts of how i want to celebrate it! But then again i need to come up with an army of personnel to help me plan it :)

Need to find my balance again, and cheer up! Life is so much more, and there are so much more for me to see and experience. Got to keep moving on, moving on!

Also, got to start writing my term papers and relish in this solitude at times. WHOO! Shuli has always been seen as a very strong person. And she shall be too.

/ 1:03 AM

Just caught 500 Days of Summer and although i didn't take a shine to the plot since well, i am not very used to the shifty chronology, i thought it raised really good issues. Like how nothing lasts forever and TV and movies and pop songs LIE about true love and happily ever afters. And "best friends forever" seem like a lot of bull to me now.

So since nothing is eternal, why not just enjoy them while you can? Before it all fades away and loses its lustre? Or before we regret and ask the all-time favourite question of "what if?"

I hate to have the "i told you so" moment coming from anyone. It really doesn't help make people feel better too.

And i know that somethings will be SILLY when i look back, wondering why i had reacted that way instead of that way and blah blah blah. But most of the time this is purely on my side, not very mutual. Hate that how one party always gives in, makes time, pumps in effort but half the time it ends up wasted and not reciprocated. Just like what happens to Tom, like the sucky feeling he has after Summer got engaged.

It's like high and low all the time, and i am a person who likes consistency and certainty.

Perhaps that explains my anger, disillusionment, disgust and hesitancy. Gosh what the hell am i supposed to do about things?

But, it really takes two to clap. Never liked odd numbers so wth. Angsty post i must say.

CONSPIRACY THEORY. Hahaha. Perhaps it is just a self-fulfilling prophecy that i am playing so much so that the conspiracy theory just happens and takes its course. I get the shivers whenever i think about that. Yikes.

And the look of your face does not help whet my appetite.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009 / 12:48 AM

So tired and so drained somehow. Someone asked me a question just now, and somehow there was a sense of deja vu from this episode with another friend. Gosh, restrain. Humility and obscurity.

Painted my nails red with the newly purchased OPI from the walkway bazaar today. Haha nice. And the necklace that i had wanted so much was GONE. Someone with really good taste must have bought it ;)

Going to find time, since it always eludes me. Some other rare items on the list as well!

Then again, winter clothings and immune jabs are catching my attention.

Sunday, October 11, 2009 / 9:32 PM

mushrooms and asparagus in oyster sauce

beef wrapped with asparagus

The beef was still in the process of cooking while i quickly snapped a photo. SO BUSY LOR! The beef wrap thingy was a last minute decision, thus explaining the presence of 2 asparagus dishes.


And since the chef in me is waiting to emerge, I MUST WATCH JULIE AND JULIA. Or Julia&Julie. Awesome.

/ 5:27 PM
time flies

The weather today has been really fabulous. And the wind was great too, consistently coming into my room. Of course, i ventilated the whole house by opening the windows, bringing in the wind and of course the sun. Ah, my wish is to have a bright and airy house!

Doing research for my essays and trying to get inspiration to do work. HAIZ. I cannot seem to figure out a public space where social dynamics are shown. Was thinking of the clubs--> gender and sexuality, class and status... GOSH I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START.

And i just realised that the exams are in less than a month. I honestly don't know what i have been doing! Why did time pass by so fast? The exams are just around the corner, and in less than 2 months i will be in Canada too. Everything is happening so fast that i am rather overwhelmed. I need to anchor myself to something. And decisions to be made further compounds my worries. And of course the disappointment and excitement and whatever.

Even now i am thinking of how to organise my 21st. Already have a vague idea, just don't know how to really go about doing it. And i hope i will be back in Singapore in time to have my 21st party! I really want it to be a sweet and romantic and memorable one :)

I shall continue screaming at my work and perhaps get down to it FAST. FIGHTING!

Friday, October 09, 2009 / 1:33 AM
please punctuate

I absolutely loathe people who send me SMSes without punctuation or emotions. Really loathe it.

On a brighter side of my life today, i managed to do some reading and of course meet up with D! Headed to my favourite haunt and had dinner and dessert and some good chit chat :)

THINK POSITIVE AND THINK HAPPY. And perhaps think of everything as good training that moulds you and prepares you for the cruelties and harsh realities that one will face in life. ROCK ON.

And James Morrison's Broken Strings keep playing on and on in my mind. Guess when something is tainted you cannot really bring it back in its original state. And when some feathers are ruffled it gets pretty hard to straighten them out.

But thanks for THE Zen Master and dosages of happy pills, i am gooooood.


Wednesday, October 07, 2009 / 9:28 PM

Human beings can be quite fickle. Just like me buying stuff and realised that the other package seems to be better. Like contact lens. Haha. Chiong all the way 2 floors down the escalator back into the optical shop and got the better offer. A girl gotta do what a girl gotta do!

So, people can be rather volatile and unpredictable. Someone told me how inter-personal relationships are tricky, and he would rather stick to machines and softwares because they are more reliable and well, understandable. At least you know what to do when your computer crashes. What to do- properly- when someone is mad at you or upset with you over something you have unwittingly done? Or the sudden cold-shoulder or sarcasm?

To that, i scoffed at my friend. What is the fun when you are dealing with bytes and cold hard metal? Where is the human touch of interaction? Trade offs, simply put. Either you choose to forego something in exchange of something that you deem valuable, or you jump off a cliff and hope to die a quick death. That way, we all don't have to think so much. And life becomes easier.

So life isn't easy for me, since I THINK SO MUCH. Perhaps to put it in a better light, i am SENSITIVE and OBSERVANT. I tend to pick up certain whiffs and expressions and i interpret them accordingly, often with a pessimistic outlook. And i absolutely loathe confrontations and raised voices, so sometimes i try to keep it down and hope that the bad feeling that i have will just go away.

But it is good to be hopeful. You cannot change the world, you cannot reduce the effects of global warming entirely, but nonetheless life is good when one has HOPE. Dreams, aspirations and a spiritual repository.

Speaking of a repository, i cannot help but to think that i might actually treat my unhappiness and all with FOOD. Especially soups, because i always seem to eat when i am feeling stressed or upset. Chocolates, especially the dark ones, are my occasional indulgence too. Somehow, the feel-good factor immediately arises. Or i go shopping. Commodity fetishism is the new black!

We all want more, we expect to have more but it cannot be helped that we WILL BE disappointed at some point in life, when our efforts are not reciprocated the way we would expect it to be. Then there comes the moralistic quotes asking one to be contented with what we have and to keep life simple. But TALK IS FREE. How many people can actually do it? Who really actually practises what he/she preaches?

(I realise that i am typing this post at an alarmingly fast rate.)

Then again, my thesis is not really complete or present, in the first place. Different modus operandi.

With this reallyyyyyyyy long entry, i guess i shall not complain too much. Doesn't fit very well into what is ordained of individuals sometimes. With friends like these, what more can i ask for?

Since life is not a bed of roses, i would like to take more whiffs of my lovely garden now :)

"the life of a celebrity is very lonely."- V, 2009

/ 12:21 AM
picked me up

0_0 why is social thought and social theory so profound, wordy, cryptic and DIFFICULT?!

Seems like i am blogging more often now! Haha.

Today was good in a way, picked myself up after such a wreck. Retail therapy does work its wonders, although the money spent is a bit AHEM. hahahhaa :D

Had my favourite fried fish soup today, and on top of that i had a bowl of RICE. Noodles and rice. And i finished it all. Guess the carbohydrates will wreck havoc in my body, travelling all the way to my thighs! EWWW. But it was satisfying and happy. Although i must complain that strawberry milkshake does taste uncannily like cough syrup.

Good day today, made me see a lot of things.

Perhaps solitude is not that bad, although unions and companionship sounds good too. Ahh the intricacies of human emotions.

On a lighter note (literally!), i am getting fairer! Good i guess, since i was fair to begin with and now i am resuming my skin colour. Slowly. Not going to be a chameleon thrown in situations!

if only you can see
you belong with me

Monday, October 05, 2009 / 12:43 AM

I think i am scary at times. Feeling a possibility of bipolar disorder coming on. HAHA. Going boomz.


SHUCKS. There is so much going on in a catastrophic sequence that i don't know what is going on really. It is as if the internal cosmos are in flux and the only remedy is to escape from it all or to delete certain files and empty the cache. I need to reboot and well, feel.

Goodness gracious me i think i need someone to talk to. Or talk like nobody's business to. Or visit a shrink and pour out everything. Perhaps i am thinking too much, and i really got to clear some of the load. HAHA i dunno. So blur. So confused. So mistaken. So ransacked. So delirious.

I want to be bulletproof sometimes!

Saturday, October 03, 2009 / 12:50 AM
sundaes and sweets

Gosh i love the air of the night.

Today and yesterday were really bad initially. It just tanked. I don't know why i felt so down and out, feeling extremely blue and defeated with all the negative vibes from people. YUCKS. I hate feeling so powerless and demoralised. Then it all seems to get better when i am back in the arms of my friends and family.

Love today's outing, although it was super LAST MINUTE.Hahaha :D

Tired and burdened by many issues but music, good food and great company quells the pain and discomfort and tears.

Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends
- Jacques Delille (1738 - 1813) French poet.

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All the love in the world, dear John