Wednesday, September 30, 2009 / 9:49 PM
finally the letter arrived

LOVELY! Awesome.

But i still feel sad that i have to leave so much things behind. People especially, and all the projects that i wanna do! A certain fear resides in me that i may be left out of the loop. Quite afraid.

But nevertheless i am psyched and glad :)

Thank you Gohonzon!

And table tennis today really was darn intense. We kept playing for 2 hours, non stop. GOSH I AM SO TIRED NOW. To the point that i am really sleepy. Going to go sleep without reading my lecture notes. Gahhh.

Super slack! Got to wake up my ideas, stop getting distracted and study.

Oh and the haze is so irritating. The smell of smog and all that just blurs everything. Eeeks not a good feeling.


/ 1:26 AM

"People raise the drawbridges of their longings because this seems the only, the best way of protecting themselves against unbearable pain."

Beck & Beck-Gernsheim 1995 The Normal Chaos of Love Chapter 1

This was from my Sociology of Emotions coursepack. How neat and aptly described. I like this reading already.

Somehow i am feeling extremely congested. Mentally. I don't know what i can do to extricate myself from all these arbitrariness. Talking in cryptic language further obscures my preoccupations.

Sometimes i don't know what to make of situations. And i am a "worrywart" and i tend to think a lot. So that works in my detriment. When i don't think about things, perhaps they will turn out more decently. Or more to my expectations.

I just need a break. Some entertainment that can throw my attention off things for a while. I don't want to get hurt. I am defensive and i prefer to keep the balance. I don't like confrontations and i prefer au naturel. But sometimes things just cannot be forced even though i may wish to have my way all the time. Not everyone beckons and abides.

Perhaps i am not ready, unprepared and not good enough. I don't know. So disturbing.

"will you not be so picky please?"

Friday, September 25, 2009 / 12:50 AM
thank you dinner

This week has been really fun! Chased away some of the dark clouds hovering around.

Went on my first bike ride and WOW IT WAS COOL AND FUN! I wanna do it again :)

Then there was the shopping trip i had and i bought myself some pretty stuff and it brightens up my mood. I love shopping and holding the packages and shopping bags. OH tell you something! I have a collection of my favourite paper bags in my room. I absolutely adoreeeeee pretty paper
bags :D

And then came THANK YOU DINNER 2009! Whoa it was really fun going to L's house for hair and makeup. SQ and WW were there too and we had loads of laughter and of course, dolling each other up! Watching youtube videos, looking at pictures of L's handsome brother (*swoons*), drinking fruit juice and playing with makeup and hair curlers. Lol. FUN FUN FUN!

We also arrived FASHIONABLY LATE, of course in a grand and pretty way. LALALALALALA~
The food was not bad, the people were funny and it definitely felt like prom, with everyone taking photos like mad and i smiled till my facial muscles protested. Haha it was really sweet to have everyone who has done projects with you to be there and everyone looked fab.

After the dinner we went to sing kbox and well, i got home at 5am in the morning. Was really really tired and i went to bathe and went to bed immediately. GOSH SO TIRED.

Lovely week :)

Monday, September 21, 2009 / 2:04 AM

one day i shall achieve gams like that.

OH it was a sleepy day, doing nothing much but sleep. Managed to finish three readings in the evening and my brother surprised my with Junior Warheads. GOSH SO SOUR! Haha.

Gonna buy some chocolates for myself and get my spirits up! GOING OUT TMR! YAY :D

Friday, September 18, 2009 / 1:40 AM
love her look

i want to be like her
strutting down the streets
feeling the wind in my hair
the sun shines softly on my face
getting the looks of envy
and admiration

she has got a great smile
and the lights look great too!

love the look
rock the style

got to stop thinking of the negative stuff, push out the bad vibes and start to channel some inner wellness and gooooood :D
you cannot please the whole world
you cannot get the attention of everyone
you cannot get whatever you want
there is no Aladdin and the magic lamp
no genie and no fairy godmothers
so rock on babe :)

Monday, September 14, 2009 / 3:37 PM

Expect too much, think too much and expect to get hurt in return.
So best is to just throw away your fears and hope and be practical.
Nothing beats the tangible things in life.
Anything that is uncertain, i don't like.

/ 12:14 AM
family love

I was just going jogging this evening. On my way there while crossing the overhead bridge, there was this little boy with his mother, walking hand in hand. I guess the toddler was about 3 or 4 years old, very chubby with round eyes and fair skin, jumping around in excitement. As they approached the stairs that was going downwards, the mother held on to his hands and guided him slowly down.


Then at the end of the steps they met up with the father and the sister, and it seemed as if the family of four went grocery shopping together. As i walked past them, i heard laughter and giggles from the family, with the little boy squealing in delight.

Then the father told the mother to bathe the two kids when they get home, and the little boy shouted really loudly "我臭臭,可是不要冲凉 !"

Such a happy family. And then they took a lift up the HDM flats and went home.

Rich, material comforts, luxury, fame.

Love my mother's cooking. She rocks my world. I love you mum, and you must be so sick of hearing me say it all the time :o)

And it's week 6 already. My gosh what have i been doing? PROCRASTINATING. SLACKING. STONING. SHOPPING. SLEEPING. EATING.

Got to study a lot more to catch up :D No more entertainment!

Saturday, September 12, 2009 / 4:46 PM

i love presents. any shapes and sizes.

Thursday, September 10, 2009 / 1:17 AM
arts camp flashback

Chanced upon the Arts Camp 2009 DPS on the meeting room table. Cannot believe it's still there after so long. Almost 2 months since.
Flipping through it brings back so much memories, feelings and a little excitement.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009 / 12:47 AM
roses are red

drew this myself.
while studying :)
<3 it

/ 12:45 AM

Well i studied wholeheartedly today. Really takes some effort on my part. But i like it.

Argh mid terms this thu. I wonder why does time pass so fast? It feels as if i just started school yesterday. Seems like i have slacked waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much and now there are so much things to catch up on. I feel the breakouts coming. HAIZ.

Really gotta work doubly hard this sem!

Monday, September 07, 2009 / 2:10 AM

Hooray! :)

Sunday, September 06, 2009 / 10:18 PM

I think i have been pretty distracted recently, feeling very hard to focus and calm my mind down. Having to give up certain people and things and of course, moving on in the opposite way with all my baggage. The signs point me to the opposite direction, and regardless of how and when, i just have to go.

Perhaps it is time to chomp down on some almond dark chocolates and feel the happiness rising up. But with my pudginess i really gotta watch it. HA HA HA. Need to feel less fugly and start to let the inner awesomeness get through somehow.

Goddess. Haha.

Got to start taking charge of my life and not leave it to fate and chances. JIAYOU SHULI :D

Saturday, September 05, 2009 / 8:53 PM

She wears shorts skirts i wear t shirts
She's cheer captain and i'm on the bleachers

sorry i just cannot be your dream girl.
so you can continue to dream on.
cos you are just a boy.
i want a man.

/ 1:03 AM

hello love
i am here!

Thursday, September 03, 2009 / 1:44 AM

Finally went to have a haircut and all. HAHA i asked the hairstylist to curl my hair for me since i still wanna walk around ion! Quite nice i think.. Wonder if i should stick to curled hair? But i guess it will be pretty tough to maintain the curls and with my laziness in hair and makeup, I SHALL THINK THRICE AND MORE.

Met some familiar faces in ion, went to some pretty cool shops. Love it.

Knowing too much can be really tiring sometimes, and i guess i shall revel in ignorance sometimes. And i thank you all for the trust.

But advice can be pretty subjective, so take heart and take some thought.

SCHOOL has been really really amazing thus far. Going to tutorials has been intellectually stimulating, and i should attempt to work harder to keep up with all these really really smart people around NUS. GOSH. It is pretty daunting to come up with decent replies and essays when there are truckloads of people who are way better than me. Well, as youths we must challenge ourselves :D

Gonna go down to Sephora and get my shampoo like asap! And i am one girl living on a tight budget this month. Shall eat less and save up..I NEED MORE MONEY!

bio tag misc past
musings of a superhero girl
All the love in the world, dear John