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Thursday, February 12, 2009 / 4:54 PM
blah life Funny how it seems that some people react to certain things. And i am not going to resort to posting nude pictures of me or creating tension by commenting on certain issues so as to attract more people to view my blog. I guess it is also good that my blog is relatively off the radar so not many people will read it anyway. Hmm. So what is the point in putting up a blog when no one reads it anyway? Well i enjoy typing. It is a different kind of feeling typing and writing my diary. I still write my diary, and it is kept nicely in one of my drawers. Typing just feels different. A different kind of persona, a different sound, a different texture and a different feeling. Somehow writing has become an enjoyment more than a chore. But of course, term papers are another matter altogether. Listening to the song Honey and the Moon. A kind of feeling that i would like to have for life. People that came too soon, people who never appear. Occurrences that shakes one out of their comfort zone. It feels as if there has to be more than life than just the simple going through of daily activities and all, making sure one is in and not out. Not losing track of oneself and not going into a downward spiral. It is as if there is a need to stay sane all the time. We have to operate within moral boundaries and never flout the rules. Why can't we all just run away, tonight? Talk as if you have the ears of everyone. Sing as if you are the superstar. Dance like you are the dancing queen. Write like there is no tomorrow. Of course, such incoherence can be attributed to the extreme heat or the endless drudgery. Ain't that difficult to become the bowler man, but no one bothers when you suddenly disappear from the face of the earth. And thus i continue to ramble. There are too many things in this life that i want to do and wish i have done. But sadly there are always restraints. I am not allowed this and not permitted that. I mustn't do this because there could be repercussions of the negative kind. Such a waste to always turn, and look behind and faltering in the chosen path. When i was young i wished i was a movie star or a superstar. Someone who could dress up in pretty clothes, wear nice makeup, be another character, live out a dream, travel to places, meet new people and new experiences. The privileges and the glamour, and the perks and all of having to be able to be someone loved and wanted by all. To be able to act in movies and live out another character in clothes, behaviour and all. Touch everyone with my acting or singing and then be able to make a difference. But of course such dreams perish with the onset of maturity and puberty. Just like how so many kids fail to hear the ring of the bell and no one believes in Santa Claus when they grow up. Everyone wants to be recognised and cherished and appreciated. But when such expectations fall short one needs an outlet to be able to channel out the angst and regret and unhappiness. WHY ARE THINGS LIKE THAT? Hell man. I feel like a lunatic trying so hard not to tear apart my mask. Goodness, to all out there living with a facade due to circumstances i high five you. Perhaps i am feeling so emo because i am listening to the OC soundtrack. Nothing uplifting at all. I NEED A SWEET ESCAPE. Labels: life |
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