Common Test 1 is looming around the corner, trying to get me.
I freeze and wonder what am i supposed to do.
Cries of help goes unheard, or merely brushed off by patronising advice.
Silent contemplation unfolds but invites more worries and fears.
Jaws remained clenched.
Fist turns white.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with me these few days. I always feel tired and unable to concentrate on my work. Take for example yesterday. I was trying to study as much as i can but my mind just refuses to cooperate. Defiance! I just cant absorb any of the information. My head hurt so much and i felt so useless and stupid. Everyone else is progressing and i am stagnant. During the econs consultation i did not even understand anything. I was just dumb-struck. I can see the lips move but nothing registers and i am so freaking out!! I don't have much time yet i cannot focus and read my materials! Shucks man. I am at a loss right now and super scared. The worst thing is not knowing what to do and feeling unprepared tho you are trying to get down to work. I am so stressed up now i cant really think straight.

Man..i am so screwed for Common Test 1.

Guess i really need to see a psychiatrist. Sometimes i wonder whether i can take all this or if i am really made for this. It's just so sick. I hate myself for not being good enough. And it is just CT1! It's not even the real thing yet i am already so stressed. Why am i so stressed? WHY?

Stupid education system that demands so much from students.