happenstance

Wednesday, February 14, 2007 / 11:15 PM

letter from a wife

Dear,

Wow, it's our 35th Valentine's day together this year. Can't believe that time has passed by that fast and now our kids are all grown up and independent already. We are all grey and wrinkled, unlike the first time we met, with me having a slim figure and wavy long hair and you being lean and tall.

I still remember the first time you tried to woo me, when you waited for me at the factory where i worked. I still remember that it was late at night, about 9pm, and there you were waiting for me at the lobby. You had that geeky smile and earnest look in your eyes that really touched me. You send me home every night, rain or shine and even call me saying lovey-dovey words. Everyday i look forward to your calls and you are so sweet and charming. You were really good with words and wielded them like powerful weapons to your advantage, just like you always do.

I was attracted by your countenance, and your disposition and your smile. I really liked you a lot, but my friends said that you were too old for me and that with my qualities i deserve better. But i stuck to my guns and just thought you were the one. Even though i had many suitors, my heart belonged to just you.

And so we got married.

We spent really great times together, the long strolls we had at the beach, the suppers, the flowers and silly jokes, movies, dinner, picnics, mind-blowing kisses and all the sweet things that we always enjoy doing. Until now.

Why is it that we stop doing so many things when we are now old? Is it because you feel that our kids have all grown up so you have the right to roam wherever you want? Do you feel like all your responsibilities towards this family is over because you think your duties are done? And that you can just leave everything behind and not give a shit to them?

You have changed. So different and scary.

She called you in the middle of the night, and you chatted with her in our bedroom with me sleeping by your side. I pretended to not know anything because i don't want to make things ugly. When you are out on Sundays i knew it was not for coffee with friends but to find her. China woman. You thought i never knew? You thought i was THAT dumb and docile? Maybe when i was younger and innocent, where i thought you were my world and i had to listen to you and be by your side and be at your beck and call.

Our daughter hated what you did. She hated you for your attitude and actions. Same for me.

I really don't know what you were thinking when you were so close to that China woman. You claimed the both of you were just friends and there was nothing else. No, there is more to it than meets the eye. I really don't know what you were doing and whether you had considered what are our reactions to your furtive and darty looks. Just friends? Would a man and a woman go out alone till the wee hours, claiming that you were KBOXing with her? Would you send her home if you were friends? Would her boyfriend send you hate mail if you guys were friends?

Don't take me as a foolish woman.Perhaps i was.

Our sons are all grown up and working now, and perhaps it only affects our little girl. She is only 11, and how do you think she will feel if she sees how you behave? You are like a jerk you know. You fight with me all day long and yell at me and degrade me with your acid tongue. What happened to the man i once knew? The one who would cheer me up with his silly jokes and bashfulness? You are a changed man.

Now that that slut has gone back to China, you start to go overseas. Frequent trips to areas around China. Who knows what you have been doing during your trips? Visiting that vamp i guess? Is it that important to be always abroad?

I am really disappointed with you. That whore has interrupted our lives and you will not do anything to remediate this situation. What the hell are you thinking? What is it that you want? A divorce? WHAT?

It's really meaningless if you are the one who do not want to salvage this marriage, leaving it to go sour. I am really tired from trying to bear with your stupid actions and reckless moves. What are you going to do to save this family? What will you do to change yourself? To kick away the bad habits and be a brand new man? Will you ever be a good role model as a father for our kids to look up to?

Honey, please take some time to reflect. You are a grown man now and has lived over half a century. You took the vows when you married me and please ask yourself if you have fulfilled any of them.

Lastly, i wish you a happy valentines and i love you.