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Tuesday, September 18, 2007 / 10:18 PM
boggled Change of font! Kinda strange to see your words being typed out in another form. Well,anyway. Tmr is the last paper (Math Paper 2 with all the stats) and i am not in my best form. Everyone around me has been falling sick, with some having quite persistent ones. There is coughing and sneezing in almost every exam venue, and it gets worse when it is air-conditioned. I have been unfortunately down with sore throat and a very bad migraine for 2 days already. And monday was econs + literature, and that almost sapped away all my energy. What was the school thinking when they slotted two such "heavy" papers on the same day?! Bollocks. And i bet it must have been worse for the history students who take lit too cos its always math+history. Crazy time-table. And right now i am still revising stats. Hopefully i will know how to go about attempting the math qns tmr afternoon. Cos i've persisted so hard and persevered to do as much practice qns i can. And got snubbed by some people whom i shall not mention here. Sigh. My head is throbbing so hard like the fluttering of the wings of a butterfly under my skin. Why do people get headaches? Is it due to the brain trying to force the user to pause and let it cool down? Ahhh. Now i am talking nonsense. Looking forward for some TLC after the prelims but then think i shouldn't. Afterall i don't really deserve a break for the terrible performance for it. It just perturbs me at my level of intelligence sometimes. It can get so LOW. And then i wonder how to pull it up and up and UP. But before i start breaking down i tears and go into some monotonous recital of my inferiority complex, i recall an IM with a friend. I was complaining to her that i feel that i am really stressed out and its just that people seem to think that i know everything and i will be fine. Then she said maybe it was because i had a "confidence aura" around me, thats why people always assumed that i'm confident and all raring to go. I've never been a really confident person. I mean everyone has got to have a minimum dosage of confidence in whatever she does, otherwise there just seems to be no value. I know that of course. Perhaps i am just outspoken, always saying things and reciting the formulas so people think i'm good? But again that sounds patronising. I dunno man. Its just so mind-blowing in a negative sort of way when you are constantly surrounded by people who are ace-ing their subjects like a breeze while i am still here slugging like a snail up a slope. Damn its so unfair but its so prevalent. An acquaintance once commented that he believed that everyone is entitled so the same talent, and it is irregardless of whether it is inborn or nurtured. Everyone can succeed. Yeah that is absolutely true. It become redundant and sickening when i keep lamenting on how tough studies are right now. Sheesh! I'm already better off than those who don't even get to attend primary school in other countries. I have a nice home to live in, comfortable clothes to wear and get to have full meals. Its just plain stupid to keep complaining about how bad things are. And millions of people had taken the A levels and moved on. So why can't i do it too? Keeping my eyes on NUS right now. NUS!NUS!NUS! FASS will be THE faculty to go. And even though things arent looking good for me now, the prelims don't matter. You don't need the prelims to get 1st three months in uni. The ultimate goal is the A LEVELS and man, i'm so gonna conquer it. I HAVE TO and i WANT to. Gee. OK before that i just gotta concentrate on the most urgent task at hand: math paper 2 tmr. Back to the world of statistics. AMERICA FERERRA won the Best Actress for her comedy "Ugly Betty"! Thus it goes to show that having a hot bod won't get you a prize. Work the inner beauty, ladies. |
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