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Sunday, March 25, 2007 / 1:56 AM
swamped This has been hell of a week. Papers, training, SYF and drama night auditions, assignments, class gatherings, friendly matches and the lack of sleep. COOL. I was so tired that i slept even while i was writing and listening to the math lecture on complex numbers locus. Sheesh. That was so horrible because i felt that i did not understand anything and the examples are just words and figures to me. For a moment all that was in my head was the mattress and pillow. But anyway, it made me reflect on how slack i was in JC1. I went home early everyday, ignoring all CCAs i was in and just went home. I remembered always reaching home at about 3 in the afternoon and then relaxing, do some reading and that was pretty much it till bed time. Of course, i did some studying and work but as compared to NOW, I think my life now is much more fulfilling. It feels so real to be busy and tired cos it means you are not just living your life purely by inhaling and exhaling but doing some stuff. I may not be an excellent table tennis player, but at least i try to practise and play as much as i can and be the best i can. I cannot provide really nice serves that the opponents cannot handle but then still its good practice. I am not a very intelligent student who does really well in GP and other subjects but i try my best by at least staying awake in his tutorials and listen intently and take down notes. I may not be a really good person with impeccable character cos i am cynical, blunt and sometimes silly, but i try to make up to my friends by making them laugh and to listen-not hear- their worries and happiness. This is how life really works. We cannot be perfect and sweet to everyone we meet cos there will be some sucker out there who is out to ruin your day. So we make up for our shortcomings through some other channel. Or some other methods. Good ones i suppose. Right now school is pretty tough for me. The one thing that is bugging me are my GRADES. Gosh. I really need someone to knock some senses into me. I just cannot seem to concentrate and take in all that is taught. I feel flippant sometimes, and that really disgusts me a lot. Why am i being so slack? Not taking everything seriously? How am i going to make up for this? Man, really need help. Any help.I need to be more serious and focus on my studies more. Nationals are next week and i just hope things will be ok. I just wanna play well and do the team proud. Sigh. So swamped with all the commitments and some ppl who never understands the situation. Like my mum who always think that i am going out when i am having trainings. MAN THIS IS SO SILLY. Really tired and exhausted. So many things to do, so little time. But its kind of pointless to just sit here and whine while typing away at the keyboard.GOTTA PULL MY SOCKS UP! life is full of ironies. when you are young, you travel in a baby pram. when old, you travel in a wheel-chair. when young, you enter the world in a rectangular container. when old, you leave the world in a rectangular wooden box. when young you wear diapers cos you cannot control your bladder. when old you wear diapers because you lose control of your bladder. when young you are fed from a milk bottle. when old you are fed with milk though a tube inserted in your nose. when young you lie in your cot all day long. when old you are confined to the bed all day long. when young you speak gibberish. when old you forget everything. Such is life isn't it? A cyclical motion that brings about our end. A greater Justice that descends upon us To give our final judgment. Life is ironic. The parallels of universe. Life is ironic. Don't let it trickle away. |
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