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Tuesday, October 02, 2007 / 11:09 PM
wise up It has been a tumultuous week and i shudder to think of the road ahead of me. I've never cried so much and felt so much pain and anger ever since the o levels, and i guess this was a wake-up call for my complacent and stupid self. Strictly speaking, i failed Econs, Math and GP. How sucky can things get? Failing GP= DYING. And i just couldnt help it but to cry after i saw my essay score because it was the LOWEST i have ever gotten. It was plain revolting and upsetting. I was expecting myself to not do that well for essay but in my wildest dreams i had never expected the score to be THIS bad. I just cant control myself and just cried in LT5. My tutor was just in front of me, trying to find out what happened and tried to comfort me a little. But hey man, i'm still immensely shocked and overwhelmed, and i just hated myself so much for not writing a good essay and scoring such ghastly marks. I'm angry and upset! But after what my tutor and brothers said to me, i shouldn't be weighed down by the prelims and the kind of results i have gotten. I should now focus on how to improve my game and get a much better grade at the A levels! I was crying so hard and feeling so terrible because i didn't read up on my content. I had superficial examples. All based on Singapore. How screwed can i get? I should be so lucky that i hadn't got let off with a single-digit score. But still it sucks to fail, especially a subject like GP that i didn't use to have so much problems with. Man, i feel really helpless and alone. It sucks to fight the demons by yourself. And i have learnt a valuable lesson in this 2 weeks, and that your friends around you may not exactly be there for you whenever you need help or simply comfort. People around me are okay, sometimes funny sometimes silly. I've never had much grouches. They are okay, but maybe they treat me as an arm-length kind of friend, so the relationship was not strong and close enough. A friend enlightened me when i complained about the lack of support i'm receiving from my friends: Treat it as a life lesson. It is at this point in time that you now who are the ones who truly care for you and will be always ready to help you, versus those who merely stick around you for gains and scatter when you ask for any help. It was a worthy life lesson learned. And i thank my friend who so succinctly analysed my problem and gave me practical and valuable advice. That really picked me up after such a bad and down day. This event most certainly served as a fantastic filtering system. Really tired now. Lessons everyday. I am just beat. And my eyes are so dry. Have been dozing off the entire day majority of the day. Just tired and beat. Gotta go. Just exhausted.zzzZZzZz |
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