happenstance

Friday, May 16, 2008 / 1:01 PM

life of a random variable

Currently at my desk, and what better way to vent frustrations and unhappiness than using the power of words? Although i may not be able to churn out fantastic pieces of writings or what so ever, but i would rather spell it out in words.

I think having music around you is really nice. At least it diverts bad attention and preoccupations. I hate it how expectations always seem to fall short. Oh well. What more can one expect? How ironic. Most people seem to always be hyped up and go all the way out to please someone, but sometimes they just don't bother. Ok i sound like gibberish. Anyway it is good to keep things a little ambiguous. Being too frank hurts the other party. Covering up flaws with lies hurts myself. Maybe i am just bad at interpersonal relationships. I tend to become a bitch or an irritating person. Maybe it is also because i expect too much from my pals? Not everyone stays there for you and be your shoulder to cry on all the time. People change. Nothing stays gold.

Wonder why do i love typing out my feelings? I guess it feels therapeutic. The sound of the keyboard is always the same, the words that you type will definitely be there. SIGH. Losing sense now. No wonder modern urbanites slip into depression so easily.

To learn from the character in the "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time", I should learn to make lists. It shows order, progress and certainty.

Things that i want to get and want:

A nice big watch with a classy look
More CDs/songs--> you know how sweet it is when people burn you a few gigabytes worth of songs you like? Cheap and thoughtful way for a gift.
A new laptop
hair cut
tubs of ben and jerry's ice cream in cherry garcia, chunky monkey, mint chocolate chip for now
new spectacles
a new box of contact lenses

Does it help???

Listening to songs on someone's iPhone. Really cool. Anyone knows where i can download music free and legally? Is there even such an avenue?

It is friday, but i just don't feel excited. I am slowly starting to do things by myself. Like i go shopping, eating, watch movies, cut hair, exercise ALONE. Most of the time i seem to be doing things by myself. Is this bad? Haha it seems like i am the only one around. And i am not exactly easy to get along with, according to others. Perhaps one day i may get so used to being alone and unnoticed that i may just lose the ability to interact with others. Whoa. I cannot imagine that.

TGIF. Such an "over-statement". Hyperbole. It is JUST friday. Wishes will always remain as wishes unless something is done.

Sigh. Why am i becoming so angsty and cooped up? Just feel very sian.

bye bye.

sucking too hard on your lollipop
love's gonna get you down.

BAM.