Sunday, May 01, 2011 / 11:26 PM
Getting back on my feet


I guess we all have to recalibrate and get on with our lives. Even if times make you feel like you wanna slit your wrists, drink detergent, inhale carbon monoxide, mix alcohol and sleeping pills, jump off the top floor of a high rise building, hurl yourself towards oncoming traffic and simply try to release yourself from this world, NEVER GIVE UP.

Recently, i have been in doldrums because i didn't go well for the finals for this mod that i got an A/A+ for mid terms, which constituted half of the grade. I cried over it, as i looked at my er ge's post mortem pictures and his funeral pictures. I felt like i have let him down, that despite him always telling me to buck up and study hard, i failed him. I was too full of myself, thinking that i will do okay for the paper and that it is open book anyway. But the compulsory question threw me off, and i didnt plan well for the second question.

I felt really useless and stupid, and i wonder what he will say about me like this.

So i bawled, and i couldn't breathe or talk properly, and my dad comforted me, brought me for dinner outside while we watched the royal wedding that was broad-casted live on channel 5. Watching that royal wedding was so nice, not just because Kate looked super thin (which i really hope for), her dress was elegant, but really because it was a happy ending, at least for now. A magical moment, which i am sure must have also been nerve-wrecking and exhausting.

My mood was uplifted, and i felt better. And then i watched Princess Diaries yesterday, and it was all nice and disney-ish.

Well i guess the glass can always be half full or half empty, seeing things the way you choose to see them. Got the above picture from leilockheart, and i love her blog and her collection of photos. Some are very inspiring, while some really prick.

My life this first half of 2011 has been really bad, but i must emerge victorious.

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All the love in the world, dear John