happenstance

Sunday, September 26, 2010 / 10:01 PM

busy busy once more

Being busy is an understatement for me these days. And somehow i never have enough time. Or either that i am too tired to go full speed ahead.

Loved the mental health symposium i emceed. Glad that all went well despite major hiccups here and there. Kudos to all the speakers and participants. Yum at the eclairs. I think the ultimate indulgence for a day would be to be able to wolf down a whole tray of chocolate eclairs and savour it all, while licking the chocolate off my fingers. MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

And now there is a mid term for tmr, and another on tuesday. So much to study but so little time! Hate to have this year 3 mentality. Pretty scary to just rely on that.

King of Anything is now playing non stop in my mind. Guess it's good to stick to your own opinions and let no one ever come in and sway your mind too much.

School's in tomorrow!

Friday, September 24, 2010 / 2:07 AM

busy bee

Love this picture! Thank you dinner.
Been pretty drained recently, coupled with so much things to think about. Not easy at all. But heck, take it as it comes.
Jiayou shu

Saturday, September 18, 2010 / 3:13 PM

ugh!

Wanted to post this via my cell but so much things to set up! UGH.

Had a pretty dramatic fall yesterday afternoon in school, and now i am quite injured, and so is my laptop. Parts of it chipped off and dented, and i feel so so so so upset about it. But i guess there is no need to send it for repairs, since i have had this laptop since i was in year 1. Perhaps i should live with these superficial scars and tahan till next year, then i shall get myself a new laptop (if i have the money). Besides that, my bruise is awfully painful and huge. Hurts everytime i move around and if i touch it. And my arm hurts quite a bit. WHAT LUCK! But i was able to laugh at myself, hahahhahahhaa, because it would have been better late than never, and i really didn't have to run so fast and fall down. AND THERE WERE PEOPLE WHO SAW IT. a!@!#09238#$?@#!39]1121@$!#$!

Then there was the NUSSU elections which stretched dramatically from 830pm on Friday night till 1030am this morning. Super torturous and i literally fell asleep during the hon fin presentation. Drifting in and out of consciousness. Hahaha. And it doesn't help that i didn't have dinner on Friday night.

One thing i realise about NUSSU so far is that almost everyone is from NUSSU committees. Anomalies like ME from constituent clubs are GLARINGGGGGGG.

And i hate being an anomaly, an outsider trying so hard to gain a insider status. Partly because of this (and my terrible pain from my bruise) I AM VERY EMO AT THE MOMENT.

Hate not having honest counsel, no sincerity and no critical mass.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Thursday, September 16, 2010 / 12:00 AM

smile my lady

i simply love this mood

I remember i watched this movie before, staring Cecilia Cheung and some guy about how she is a shrewd who controls his life as his wife and whatnot. Due to some misunderstandings, the guy succumbed to evil naysayers and made his wife drink some potion that makes her forget everything about him and him only, so he can be free of her. After doing all these, he kind of regretted and wanted to atone for his mistakes. But the potion was so strong that it took him quite a fair bit of effort in order to reverse it all and win her back.

Now, the focus of this entry is not so much on this love story but WHERE DO I GET THIS POTION? Wish i could drink it and forget about selective people only. So we can all co-exist and be cordial at least. I don't appreciate the sarcasm and skepticism.

And now work is all piling up but i really don't know how to handle this onslaught. Haha maybe 90% of me is still pining for my exchange days in Montreal, where life was just so free and easy and full of new things. Coming back to Singapore is a long period of withdrawal symptoms, and i struggle to handle my old place and new space. Kind of hard i must say.

But i do enjoy being busy, because that makes my life more meaningful. Makes me so occupied that i have no time to think about silly things that make no sense. Or people or issues. So it's good, and at least i am living life to the fullest. Not quite there yet, but am working on it. Hope to get a job or something during the holidays too, so i can have a broader perspectives of things.

And now all that is left is a few pieces to complete the puzzle. But that's not the main issue i care now. What matters is how i live and had lived my life, and how will i live it.

Mid term later! Jiayou :D

Wednesday, September 15, 2010 / 1:42 AM

Can't stand all these geography stuff. Its sociology thats better damn it.

ARGH STRESSED OUT TTM.

Wish i was on exchange now :|

Sian, too much to do too little time.

Monday, September 13, 2010 / 1:40 AM

But that's okay.

Just found two of the cards you sent me while on exchange. Couldn't help but read them through again and again, examining the sentences carefully, following every stroke. Guess i cannot bring back the feelings anymore. But that's okay. We all move on and do different things as we move along.

And now there are new challenges and mountains to climb. But that's okay. We learn to cope with our problems and find ways to solve our troubles.

New people to handle, old strings to mend. But that's okay, because instinctively we all learn to do that since we were infants. Feelings of anxiety propels us to repair everything. But that's okay.

I know i loved you. But that's okay, because i don't think i can love anymore now. But that's okay.

Thursday, September 02, 2010 / 1:33 AM

small things big thoughts

Occasional panic attacks and intense pangs of emotions do assail me. As much as i would like to declare myself to be a superwoman of some caliber, i am afraid i fall short of that goal at times. But that's okay i suppose, because even heroes have the right to bleed.

Sometimes i look at people who are going about their daily lives. Today when i was on the bus to SMU there was this nun sitting in front of me. I recognised her as a nun because she had this head scarf thing and she dressed plainly. You know, how some nuns look like but not those Chinese nuns. She was sitting opposite me, and looking outside the window with this faint and contented smile on her face. I was looking outside too, but that was because i couldn't really digest the readings on Feminist Geography.

Then after that she started to clean her teeth using her fingers and picking things that made me look away real fast. She then resumed her composure in a short while and changed her seat to sit beside me. I went back to my reading and after a few stops, we alighted together.

Small things like these leave a huge impression.

The SMU event wasn't one of the good ones i did. No crowd during the graveyard timings. Then left to study with B at starbucks and managed to finish two readings, although i seriously doubt myself whether i actually internalised them. Earl Grey tea is so not in my books now. Love the new ring.

And then meeting the gang for dinner was good, although i was dissociative for a bit. XLB at DTF was okay, fried rice tasted reasonable and i love black vinegar. Headed to watch Step Up 3 and well, it certainly got me wanting to move several times during the movie because it was just so inspiring to watch. Wanna dance!

Now here i am typing this entry idiographically. What a day. Fulfilling with small interesting snippets and close friends, and such days keep the life worth living.